James Blunt

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Posted 20 March 2012 16:01
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Last Login: 04 May 2014 20:40
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"Chillaxing" --- Hahaha   hahhaahaha   hhaahaha   hahaha

Love. That.

. . . Maybe a helpful hint too for a title for the NEXT album? (I can see some serious collaboration with David Guetta along that theme . . . .)

{Don't worry James, no pressure, keep chillaxing; your "troops" out here are fine --- we're just actively hallucinating on our own terms }

Post #211404
Posted 22 March 2012 18:26


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James whipped out his Blackberry and googled bike rental in the area then purchased an oversized bar of Toblerone (revenge on that pesky flea-bitten monkey would be sweet!).
James’ Blackberry beeped and a message popped up ‘behind you!’ James looked at his phone in puzzlement then thought ‘what the hell!’ as he turned around he noticed the great big car rental stall behind him. If only they did bike hire James thought. A rather pretty lady behind the counter smiled at James so he thought again ‘what the hell!’
2 minutes later James had a big smile on his face and some bike keys and a helmet in his hands but what about the monkey’s helmet? There was no way James was gonna go all the way home to get it there wasn’t enough time. Fortunately luck seemed to be on his side as just then he happened to pass a children’s toy shop. James went in and wandered happily up and down the aisles looking for something which would suffice as a crash helmet for his little monkey. He managed to walk passed the teddy bear aisle without having to stop for a cup of tea but the fancy dress aisle had him distracted for quite a while. He finally decided on a clowns outfit but only because he quite liked the shoes and you had to buy the whole outfit to get the shoes. Just then he spotted a themed teddy bear with a Viking helmet on and as it was the only item in the shop that came close to what he wanted he decided to get it. It would have to do.
Outside James found his rental bike and was quite pleased with it as it was a nice sea-sick green colour.
Before sticking his helmet on he got his Blackberry out and tweeted his monkey...
@DirtyLilMonkey I got a little green one and don’t worry about the horns we can snap those off! Find salty Pete he’ll get us there!
Post #211496
Posted 25 March 2012 19:59
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Last Login: 14 August 2017 21:44
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loving your work...wkdnic..clown shoes...tweeting is monkey...sounds so wrong...

Meanwhile...somewhere in a bare foot bar in northern Ibiza David Guetta was busy googling himself again on his smartphone.

In a laid back French accent "Oo noo, noh again, every summer I die in Google!"

"David Guetta dead!"

"Maybe I should write my next song about thiis?" he was grumbling to the cute barmaid. "Do you think I look like the husband, Joe Dubois in the US tv series "Medium?" he huffed "I always git asked for hiis autograph..."

"Maybe I am like a phoenix...I die and then I comebeck, eh?!!!"

Post #211622
Posted 25 March 2012 20:23
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... Somewhere in the misty dawn, the Monkey was circumambulating around the Gomphu Kora temple...contempating his next move.
He had been there for days on end meditating alone in a cave.
It's not what you do...its what you 'think'....he muttered to himself as he walked around.
Upon the Monkey's shoulders were two other monkeys, one intriniscally good, the other not so tea & homemade cake.
Post #211626
Posted 25 March 2012 20:34
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The monkey was training himself to think....
He thought about starting small, and as he wandered around the temple he thought he would like to go a bit faster, but with less effort. He thought of rollerblading, and just like magic he spied upon some rollerblades in a dustbin.
Well if its meant to be they will fit, he thought...and of course they fitted perfectly.
It reminded him of a time when he was dating a girlfriend monkey, and she had found on an empty tube train late at night... an expensive pair of red patent shoes, beautiful shoes.
She wished to give them to him so asked him what was his size and it was a perfect match. So the Monkey inherited them, and vowed to find their owner one day, as these were not the kind of shoes one would leave behind on a tube train.
Post #211627
Posted 28 March 2012 16:42


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Just as monkey was about to achieve the perfect meditative state a large gong was struck right above his head. James dropped the gong on the floor with an almighty clang! Then whipped out a confetti cannon for old times sake. 
James had pushed his lil green bike and carried the two lids all the way up this bloody mountain. He would have ridden his bike up the mountain but there were no petrol stations above 200 feet. 
Well I guess it had been worth it at least James had found his little monkey friend and the ride back down the mountain would be a helluva lot easier and maybe even fun. 
As monkey pulled himself rudely out of his nirvana state he rushed over to retrieve the object of his meditative focus, the red shoes!
Too late however as James was already on them or should I say in them...
Post #211813
Posted 01 April 2012 13:16
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The Monkey smiled - things were not only going well - but exceeded all expectations...

The Monkey jumped up and down with glee like he was on something, running around in circles, whirling the prayer wheels like a banshee.

The Monkey then started gathering nuts, berries and fruit and giving it to the monks in the temple.
Of course the Monkey knew there were starving people everywhere...but the first rule of charity is that it begins at home.
x
Post #212032
Posted 03 April 2012 09:59


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Home...
There’s no place like home... There’s no place like home...
James clicked the heels of the beautiful red shoes together... There’s no place like home.
The monkey jumped up onto James’ shoulder and slapped him firmly on the left cheek.
“Home? You muppet, you haven’t got a home!” The Monkey shouted in exasperation.
“I have!” Said James defensively, “I have several!”
“Exactly!” Said the Monkey, “So if them shoes did decide to take you home it might get a bit messy, eh?, there would be bits of you everywhere!”
“Hmmm!” Said James, “Ooh these shoes are killing me.”
James kicked the shoes off because they were actually pinching his toes not because of what the Monkey had just said. Unfortunately as James kicked off the right shoe he did so with a little too much gusto. The red shoe flew up and hit one of the Monks up-side his head.
Everyone gasped with shock.
James said “Oops!”
The Monk that had been struck by the gorgeous but deadly shoe slumped forwards.
James, the Monkey and all the other Monks gasped again but a bit louder this time.
Then the slumped over Monk started moaning,
“Ohhhhh!” He moaned, “Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
“OOoooohhhhhhhhhmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyGGGodddddddddddddddddddddd!!”
The Monk then sat bolt upright, clasped his hands together in prayer and said “It is a sign,”
Post #212132
Posted 03 April 2012 18:47


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A bit like this one...
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=274249629323500&set=a.229080227173774.56531.219313611483769&type=1
Post #212160
Posted 12 April 2012 00:12


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Or maybe like these
http://t.co/GoiSLpZe
Post #212670
Posted 24 June 2016 11:09


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I was walking to the Doctors early this morning and I saw a guy on a bike wearing a white helmet and black jacket! To say I had a heart attack would be an understatement. I couldn't make out what bike it was tho
Post #276828
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